Nowhere
by Aiden Dahlin
Summary: When Kira was finally defeated it was understood that he would go Nowhere, he would be Nothing. It was never questioned, but one should never assume when it comes to God.


_**When Kira was finally defeated it was understood that he would go Nowhere, he would be Nothing. It was never questioned, but one should never assume when it comes to God.**_

**It can be a sequel to Fantasy, but it doesn't necessarily have to be.**

XxXxXxX

_Every night it was the same dream. _

_Light's hand was on his back, pressing firmly as he led him to a car. His smile was gentle as an angel's, washing him in a feeling of peace. The beautiful man leaned in and pressed their lips together, the smile tangible in the kiss._

_But then, as always, it changed. The smile on his lips morphed to a hideous scowl and Light pushed back, his eyes crazed. "What are you waiting for, you fool!? Kill them!! Kill them now, don't you see that they are the wrong ones!? You told me you understood me!"_

_Matsuda pulled back from him, his hands clasping a molten-hot gun. It burned his palms, he could feel his skin sizzling, but he couldn't let go. Like the arms of a marionette, they rose up, pressing the weapon between Light's eyes. He tried to cry out to him, to beg him for help, but the words came out wrong. "You aren't God! You're crazy, I don't understand you at all! I hate you!" _

_Light's eyes, maniacal and evil, glowing red in the light of the factory, changed. They were the warm brown they'd been as a teenager, glassy with tears and betrayal. "Matsuda…"_

_His hands at last moved, but instead of releasing the gun, they squeezed the trigger. _

XxXxXx

He couldn't take this. The guilt was eating at his soul, at least what was left of it. How much could he possibly have left after shooting his dead mentor's beloved son full of holes? Soichiro had died, at peace in the knowledge that his son was innocent, and Matsuda had killed him.

How could everyone else live out their lives post-Kira so happily? Did no one else feel the burden of guilt, the pain of loss that he carried with him?

Despite what they had said, what they believed, the world without Kira wasn't such a great place. It was 'back to normal', as Aizawa had said it, but after the crime-free world of Kira, it seemed a shallow victory. The fanatics were still there, more desperate than smug as they had once been, but they only called more attention to the pitiful state of the world.

Maybe Kira wasn't really God, but he was _something_.

Or at least he had been…

Kira was Nothing now, as Ryuk had said. Not even in hell, Kira, and consequently _Light_, might as well have never existed.

Matsuda's glazed eyes pointed unseeingly towards the television as he thought. Bright colours bouncing around, a cartoon –_blip_- dark colours and bright red, a horror film –_blip_- boring colours with no movement, news.

He dropped the remote on the couch beside him, no longer caring. Television wasn't the mindless escape that it once was, only a reminder of the world he'd killed for.

The chirpy news-women were discussing something to do with pound puppies, and Matsuda tried (and failed) to be interested. Before Light-no Kira's death he'd been the type to get very excited about such things, but it was all so _meaningless_. Who cared about dogs in a world like this?

Even as Matsuda silently begged the television to show him something he could care about, the women both put on somber faces and changed the subject. "At just past 23:00 last night Tamaki Takashi, world-renowned author was found dead in his home of a heart attack. Tamaki wrote the much-acclaimed book 'Shining God', detailing the history of Kira and his negative opinions on Kira's perceived psyche. While Kira was active he led many a rally in His name, and afterwards was cited on several counts of spousal abuse and fraud."

One of the other news women, a fake-brunette that was well known for her kind and fair disposition, gave the slightly uncomfortable reporter an encouraging smile. "It looks to me like Tamaki-san got what he deserved."

Matsuda stared wide-eyed at the screen. This was just like the news reports from back then, almost eerily so. He sat up straight, clicking his remote until the television was as loud as it would go, rewinding to play the news story over and over.

It was too much to hope for and too painful to even consider. Kira wasn't back; he'd heard it from the God of Death himself. He had become Nothing, was gone away to Nowhere for the rest of time. He couldn't go to Heaven or to Hell, so he couldn't possibly have come back here.

Kira was gone and Light would never come back.

Matsuda's stomach clenched as it always did when he thought of that.

A rattling sound drew his attention away from the screen, looking down to find the remote shaking in his hands. He dropped it like it had burned him, leaning back into his couch with a sigh.

He wondered if he should be calling Aizawa, or Mogi. Surely they would want to know if there was a chance of a copy-cat Kira (which this had to be, if it was anything more than coincidence). His hand traveled to his pocket, clutching the phone lightly but never moving to pull it out. What was wrong with him? He didn't even care if there was a copy-cat. Hadn't he devoted years to that case exclusively? Hadn't it made his entire career?

He released his phone slowly. Aizawa probably knew already, he watched the news more aggressively than Matsuda anyways. It was pure chance that he'd even seen this at all.

The police officer remembered a time when he would have excitedly called his team, broadcasting the news as though he'd personally reported it.

Those days were long over.

He turned the television off, pushing himself off of the couch. He made his way to his bedroom, collapsing on top of the covers carelessly. He didn't bother to take off his shirt or even his tie, simply burying his face into the pillows.

He was just so tired. If only he could get a little sleep, Matsuda was certain that the world would make more sense, be brighter somehow. He hadn't slept properly in two years; just one night was all he asked…

He would talk to Aizawa tomorrow. If it was anything important his colleague would know what to do, and Matsuda would help him.

Because that was what Matsuda as for, wasn't it? He looked to other people for answers and helped them in whatever it was they were doing. Things had always been that way before after all; Matsuda had even helped _Kira_ for god's sake! Maybe under the guise of a young man that he'd loved—

_Stop that_, he thought angrily, his teeth biting his pillow hard enough to make his jaw ache, _Kira_ _was evil, Kira is Gone! Don't think about it, don't think about him…_

Eventually his mental argument died down and his grip on the pillow slackened. He was too tired to think properly anymore anyways.

_Aizawa will know what to do…_

_XxXxX_

**Not my best work. I'm aware of it but this is my third rewrite so…. This is the best you're getting until I find a better way to write it.**

**Updates will be sporadic and there will be 6 chapters in total.**


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